No words to describe it

I had a feeling coming to Pemberley wasn't the best idea, and the arrival of Mr. Darcy only confirmed my biggest worries! I was caught speechless in his presence, and when our eyes met, I felt nothing but pure embarassment! He probably thinks I came in search of him, to say that I was a fool for not accepting his proposal and to apologize for refusing him in such a rude manner. I can only imagine to what level his pride has flourished to now! His character and manners have changed greatly and definitely impressed me; however, it only made the situation more uncomfortable, and I only felt that much more ashamed.